New Years Resolutions

Smoke only the weekends (sadly, that's a challenge!)
Eat healthy (eliminate Hot Pockets out of my everyday diet ]=)
Limit my spending on snacking (that shit adds up!)
Find a hobby that I love and keep up with it
Learn that being single doesn't mean my skies are grey....................
Which also means LEARN HOW TO BE MISS FUCKING INDEPENDENT. I certainly don't need a man in my life.
Also, learn to take risks and let go of my guard just a little.

Winter break has been absolutely amazing besides the fact that my father never puts his children as #1 on his priority list. It's pretty sad how I've gotten use to his "I'm sorry Happy but maybe next week!" that it doesn't phase me. But once my sister got mad, it hit me hard how we're never fucking first in his life. Somehow some things are more important rather than his own children. Another reason of my why I consider my friends, my family 'cause they've shown more love and support. And I've given him chances for us to get closer but all he ever does reply with a "Oh I see" and continue with what was on his mind while I telling him how my life has been. For all fucking sake, I can tell him I'm pregnant and he wouldn't even notice what I said. It hurts even more to know that he's not supportive with my major in Business Entertainment, since it's not nursing. But when he sees that I'll be making that six figure salary he'll show me off like as if I'm his trophy child. It's not even just that though, I want him to be happy for me. I want his love and support. And most of all his dedication as a father.

But WHATEVER, fuck it. Since I lacked so much guidance as a child, I'm fucking independent now. I don't "need" them. And it's pathetic how my parents don't see WHY I'm like that too.

UGHHHHHHHHHHH! This is too overwhelming.

Party on bitches!

Well, this winter break has done me good so far! Last weekend I was pretty much drowning in alcohol, and I think it's time to really lay off of it. Or at least be more responsible! Stupid me.

Christmas was good also. I spent it with my mom. It wasn't a big celebration so it was more intimate which I really appreciated. It was just sweet seeing each others face when we opened our gifts. I bought us matching PJs. I think I'm going to make it tradition. My mom got my sister and I matching robes! My sister got me another guitar for Rockband (but I'm exchanging it for Little Big Planet!), cymbals for Rockband, AND MY DIRT DEVIL CONE VACUUM IN PINK, suckahs.

I just can't believe that the year is coming to an end! That quick, ay? 2008 was my favorite year and I'm not exagerrating at all. I have a feeling 2009 will be another good one. I fucking love my life and everyone who is part of it.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
Only smoke on the weekends (I should really just quit though =[)
SCHOOL FIRST, party second
Don't waste so much money on food

I miss

sleep overs with a boy! (Not that I'm saying I sleep over boys' houses a lot!) But just that feeling of having someone's arms keeping you warm and safe. And waking up to next someone special.

Goodbye 08! You did me good.

As the new year is fast approaching, I thought I would briefly summarize how wonderful 2008 has been, since it's truly the best year of my life by far.

I started off the year with a bang. I was in my first serious relationship and I turned 18. I was constantly busy and on the go with planning my debut, debut practices, dance captain for Red and Gold, and maintaining good grades at school. Life was just completely blissful! I had nothing to complain about. I had a wonderful boyfriend, my family was being functional for once, I was passing my classes with semi-flying colors. Then Cupid decided to be an ass and my 8 month relationship ended unexpectedly. I can say that this year was the year I experienced "love". I wasn't in love but I was falling in love. Unlike other years where my main problems in life was family..this year it was the evil curse of a heartbreak that every teenage girl dreads but has to face one day (or in my case a good couple months). As I thought my world was going to end because my love life did, I found my two best friends.

By the end of June, I graduated high school and I was that teenage girl with the only things in her mind for the summer was to...sleep in and party till dusk. Well, I certainly did just that. Summer was such yet another learning experience. I had my share of good times and drama. I even experienced with E two times. I'm not proud but it's yet another learning experience and one that I certainly will not do again.

This year was also my first year of college. My sister told me that in college it's where your life will totally change. And it seemed so cliche so I didn't really believe till it happened to me. Just a few months ago I was living such a different life. I was so confused with my "identity". I was uncomfortable with my surroundings and no, school had nothing to do it. College, the school aspect of it, was actually unsurprisingly likable. I'm the type of student who doesn't care too much of group work and I'm used to independent work, so college was easy for me. It was what happened outside of school that really affected me. Even after a summer of close bonding with my best friends, I felt myself drift away from them. It's not that they were bad people, it's just that I felt I needed to grow apart from them to find myself. I started questioning why does it have to be so hard just to feel comfortable with a group of friends. Why does my social life have to be so hard like as if I had to do some fucking miracles just to find a genuine people?!! (All my life, I was never really part of a certain clique. It was just me and one or two best friends..and if I wasn't with them I was with my current bf.) Well, I told myself life ain't fair! So just fucking suck it up. And I did. Things changed drastically just a couple weeks ago and I finally got what I deserved...true friends. It just feels so good to know that I have a set group of friends now. And it's not that it's a "group", it's 'cause I know each of them care for me just as much as I care for them. I'm SO grateful to have them in my life.

So in all this year I learned: even though I gave my 1oo-and-fucking-10% in a relationship and it doesn't last, it's doesn't mean I did something wrong..it just wasn't meant to be. Things DON'T come easy to me and not going to lie, I'm an open-minded thinker. I just don't think of how I feel, I think about how the others feel too. If I'm at fault, I'll step up and apologize! Anyway, as the saying goes, "things happen for a reason" and it's true! I guess this is where I get all my "optimism" from. Everything really does happen for a reason and sooner or later you'll realize why. It's just with me the period between of when something happens to the time I'll realize why, is when I get super impatient. I start to blame myself of why all this shit is happening to me even though I'm being completely stupid. I just need to learn patience. I've learn to accept that things don't come easy with me even when I deserve the best, to be bluntly honest. Family, friends, relationships. All of that has been so hard to maintain. I do get jealous seeing other people have it easy with family, friends, and relationships. Because I've never cheated, always been caring, not jealous, not possessive, respectful, all that jazz. I just didn't understand it but now I've come to accept that the time isn't now. And I'll have to be patient even when it hurts so bad. But at least I've found my true friends!!

Reading this whole blog makes me excited for what 2009 has to offer me! Also, this isn't even everything that has happened to me. Some things that happened to me this year, I can't explain through words =].

Fucking tired

I'm so sick of being the fucking responsible one in the house! Why can't I for once be the child. THE ONE BEING TAKEN CARE OF. Fuck this shit.

If you're going to lose my shit, then fucking find it! And no! Your fucking money isn't legit enough because that jewelry is from my family and friends...there was actually thought behind those things...unlike your signed checks.

Who ever said rapping was easy!

On the way to the Common show, Melissa and I decided to make a video while stuck in traffic. &I attempted to rap.....FAIL.





Common delivered an awesome performance even though his set only included 5 songs, which two were "Go" and "The Light". I've never been a big fan of Common but now I love his music. I loved how he interacted with the audience and pumped us up. And in all honesty, I am a major fan of Kanye but he lacks communication with his fans when he performs! But he still manages to keep our full attention. I don't know how he does it but he's..Kanye. I love live music. I wish I was rich so I can attend all the concerts in the world. There's just such an unexplainable feeling when I hear music live.

On a another note, I wish that my parent's would actually BUY me a gift. Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate the money they give me, but it just seems there's no sentimental value to it. All they do is sign the check and "Merry Christmas baba!". ALL I want is some fucking thought behind a gift. For goodness sake it can be a hand made card because at least they put some thought into it. I do get jealous when I hear my friend's stories of how their parents went OUT OF THEIR WAY to find their gift. When will my parent's go out of their way for me?

And this makes me miss my dad's ex-gf even more. Every Christmas she bought my sister and I something we really wanted. It wasn't even about the materialistic thing, it was the love behind it. I really miss Sunday brunches with her and the kids. Oh I really miss those kids. I "hate" how they got attatched to us though. They sometimes call me and ask me when I'm going to come over and play. And I have to pretend to be hopeful that one day I will come by 'cause I'm crying on the other end of the phone. I watched those kids grow up and I miss them so much. I miss my second mom. She really compensated for what I didn't receive in my childhood. I miss having someone concerned about my life..someone who actually took the time to sit down and talk about how I'm doing in life. I mean I'm old now and matured but shit...when will I actually get that parental guidance. I've never been grounded before and that's because I think my parent's don't care enough.

Anyway, I've been noticing that my lust for a relationship has died out. I think it's 'cause I've been hanging out a lot with just a bunch of dudes. Thank goodness. Who needs boys anyway? I'm Miss. Independent damnit.

I'm pretty sure I have A's in my Psy and English class. But for my business class, shoot, that's probably a solid C HA! =[. Next semester I'm taking 18 units. FML right? Whatever, gotta do what chu gotta do. I'm pretty excited though. I love learning...believe it or not.

BRustANIE

So today, Brian was hanging out at my house and I decided to show him off my drumming skills on Rockband. But it wasn't that great since he couldn't join in on the fun. SO I bought a mic and guitar tonight! Justin, Brian, and I jammed the whole night through. I thought of a clever name with BRustANIE for our "band". We're dumb. WAHOO. The other day we were jamming to OLD SCHOOL "EMO" MUSIC! Not gonna lie, but I was so happy singing those lame songs by The Early November, The Starting Line, The Ataris, (old) Fall Out Boy, The Used, From First to Last, and the list can go on! Don't you love hearing songs that bring you back to good times. Well, I felt like that way in the 1 hour drive to Fullerton while stuck in traffic.

These past weeks have been so much fun. I'm always hanging out with Brian and his friends. I've become part of their group. &I'm feeling in place somewhere and there is no discomfort at all. Final-fucking-ly.

Life is good. &last night was WOOOOOOOOO.

Tuesday I'm seeing Common with Melissa!! I'm excited for Common and 'cause I haven't seen that jigga in a minute!

A girl can dream right?

Well, Christmas is soon approaching and my excitement isn't as high as I thought it would be. But I still wish for a few presents! So here..


I'm still shocked at how they discontinued the film. Better stock up soon!!


Since I go through lighters like boys (ha joke!)..I would like a big pack of em...along with.....


Hello Kitty stickers so I can deck those lighters with em. I always lose them! So with the HK stickers stuck on em..I'll be able to put them on blast for stealing my lighter. I'm evil.


I've mentioned this before but I REALLY want this vacuum and only in pink too. As most of you know, I'm a panzy with my car being dirty and to have that vacuum will cut the hassle of going to the car wash in half! And it's so cute.




I'm getting sick of Rockband since it's the only game I have! I really want to have a collection by summer '09. '09..that's just weird.


A JC charm to add to my charm bracelet. BUT I WANT THE SKATEBOARD ONE!


Since my mom lost my jewelry which can cost a good 1 grand (UGH)..I want a new jewelry box!


So I can have the complete set..even though the necklace is gone (it was in the jewelry box). UGH, irresponsible..that's nothing new though.


This is probably number one on my list (next to the vacuum). I REALLY WANT THIS. I guess this is the new line from Tarina Tarantino. I was looking through it and the theme seems to be influenced from the fashion in the 70's. Centered around the peace movement and all that stuff.


These are a bit bright but since I don't wear shoes often might as well go all out. Size 5.5. Good luck 'cause I have trouble finding shoes. Even slippers too.




A Hello Kitty stuffed animal. But not this one. I just want the simple one!


MATCHING PJS. It doesn't have to be HK but I LOVE matching PJS!


AND IF YOU KNOW PHARRELL CAN YOU PLEASE PUT HIM IN A BOX AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE REST =].

I don't really want clothes for xmas since I'm really picky with clothes and my style is rarely consistent too. But most of all I just really want a peaceful Christmas. Hopefully my mom won't be on bitch mode since I'm spending it with her. Even if she is though I have my sister to have fun with!

Yesterday, I was talking to my psychology professor about my grades and she insisted that I should be a tutor for the next semester. I was really flattered that she'd ask me! I just feel so proud for all the hard work I've done. I'm really considering it, but I plan to take 5 classes so that might hold me back. It would seem like a wonderful experience since I'm psychology minor anyway.

"We didn't lose anyone, we gained an angel."

RIP Grandma Coring

I got the text from my dad that she passed away this morning. I was in disbelief even though we knew her condition was terminal. A few minutes later my sister called me and told me that our dad called her and in the background she can hear our whole family crying (they're in the PI). I don't know what to say or even think. I feel so much for my family because they've encountered so many deaths this year already, and now their mother just passed away. What's even more sad is that I can't even remember the last time I saw her. And what's makes me so confused is that I haven't even cried. I feel so numb to everything. I know I care for her and my family but not a single tear has come down yet and I'm scared for that moment when it all falls down.

I know she was a wonderful mother and grandmother to all. She will be greatly missed. I love you Lola Coring. I know you're watching over us <3.

This past November, a few friends lost their loved ones. This is just another reminder to keep your loved ones close and make sure they know they are cared and loved by you. Don't take advantage of anyone, you never really know when it's their time.

I'm starting to get scared of death.

Marilyn Menroe once said..

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so eventually you learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together."

I'm usually the hater when it comes to quotes 'cause a majority of the time I think they're BS and cliche. But I like this one. Because of it's simplicity and maybe because I can strongly relate to it!

Back to life, back to reality!

I wanna go to a club that plays 90s hip hop. I heard there's one in Riverside. I'm down. It's about time to get jiggy to some good sound. I'm sad that tomorrow I have to get back to reality because this weekend was so much fun. Three straight nights of drinking and good memories!

And lets just say I was not myself last night!


This was from this summer!

By far, this year has offered me so many learning experiences and most of them unpleasant, but I learned anyway. Next year, I just hope for more equality. My problem is always too little or too much. Speaking generally of course..And I most definitely I hope I won't have to deal with "wrong timing" too.

Lets also add that I hope I don't have to go through shit again. I'm kind of tired going through shit to get to the top. Just give it to me already.

Slowly but surely

my life is getting better.

I don't come from that big group of friends. I only hangout with close friends because it's hard to find genuine people today. Sometimes I do get lonely because when they're busy, I have nothing to do. But lately I've been hanging out with Brian and his friends and it feels so nice to know that I finally have my set of close friends who also know each other. And I bonded with one of them last night and he was like if you're part of the group, you'll always be part of the group. And he reassured me that no matter what, they'll always be there for me. And out of my 18 years of living I've never heard that from a guy friend. I was always that "homegirl" of the group but only because I was a girlfriend of someone. And once those relationships ended...so did my social life. (Another story of how I revolve my life around my current relaltionship, UGH.) It's different now though because none of them were a former lover so it eliminates the awkward feeling if they were one. It's just finally I feel like I'm set with a group of friends. I'm so grateful for that. And they're boys too so I wouldn't have to worry about drama. Thank the Lord! But I'll always have my two best friends. No one can ever replace them.

Yesterday was super busy! Thursday night we went to a homie's house and played Rock Band and drank a little. Then we headed to my house to eat leftovers and ended up knocking out. We went to the Attic. REWIND, actually my sister and I hit up Citadel at 11PM. We got a lot of AA stuff and everything was 15% off! As I was saying, we went to the Attic but we didn't have to wait in line suckahs! It was buy 1, get 1 free! Since I am cursed with small feet I couldn't scoop on any shoes =[. But I came out with two Cheap Monday jeans, two Hellz Bellz tees, and some random shirt for only $123! And at AA I got a hoodie, crew neck sweater, and two jerseys for only $60 bucks! All that for under 2 bills. What a deal!!!! I am definitely celebrating Black Friday every year. (It was my first time this year).

Well, later that night I went to Careese's birthday dinner. And all I gotta say is SMALL WORLD. I knew more people there than I thought. We went to some kickback after and got our drank on. And you know just the typical fun, good times stuff went down!

Then tonight I have a party and tomorrow I have a lunch buffet at Orange Hill then another bday dinner! Woo this weekend has been SO good and it's only Saturday!

Muchas Gracias!

I am very thankful for the following (in a nutshell):
My loving family: even though a majority of the time we're not on the greatest terms, we have each others unbreakable love that keeps us together.
My sister: we don't live together anymore but we still manage to keep in touch. She's really considered one of my heroes because without her I really don't know how I would be here.
Stephanie Arroyave: NO ONE understands me the way she does and I really appreciate that. There's no one else who I can be vulnerable with yet dorky. She's my winggirl. I love her so much. She's still going to be the godmother of my children! Woo for being friends. Try beating 13 years!
Melissa Chacha: We hated each other guts and she used Myspace to harass me but who would have ever known that we'd end up being best friends! I'm glad that we got SO close in the past couple months because we have nothing but love for each other!
For having not just one but two best friends!
The new friends I made this year.
Education.
House.
Car.
PS3.
Fake tempurpedic bed and plasma in my room.

There's A LOT more but those are the few that stuck out. But most of all I am thankful for the wisdom and strength God has blessed with me.

Today, I pretty much just chilled with Brian and did a bunch of nothing at his house till Giann came over. We went to a driving range and it was just another reminder of how much I suck at golf. Then we watched Transporters 3. I was falling asleep!! I give it one thumb up.

I've never celebrated Black Friday and I'm still figuring out what to do. Maybe The Attic? Or Citadel Outlet for AA? Or just stay at home and save money.

"Always want what you can't have!"

Cat fights and male strippers

Friday: I went to some club. It was the normal fun night. A lot of dancing but this time I got to see male strippers. I really don't enjoy seeing men bounce around in thongs. And I think I'm traumatized for life. I never want to see that kind of action again.



Saturday: The best the day of the weekend! I chilled with Brian and his homies. We went to downtown LB so they can pick up some stuff for their bikes. I ended up buying new shoes because FOR ONCE they had my size. Shocker ay! They're pretty too. Then we headed back to Justin's house and I just chilled and watch them do their thing with their rides. Brian was nice enough to teach me how to carve on my board though! I miss skating. I miss it so much because I rarely do it =[. Anywho, we were starving so we headed to Mr. Lees so we can indulge in some bomb Korean BBQ. I haven't laughed that hard in so long! GOOOOOOD times there. We were so full after eating over 10 plates. They got stingy with us and started giving us less meat! Hello, it's all you can eat! DUH! After, we headed to Chino Hills for some party. And long story short, I almost decked some girl because she was talking crap about my very very close friend. I've never gotten so belligerent in my life! But it was good times and I would do it again....syke. I'll only throw a punch for a good homie. None of that "just to start drama" crap. Lover not a fighter! Definitely a night to add in the books.



Today: Studied with my sister at Panera. After, I went to Melissa's house and we just caught up since we haven't seen each other in a while. Painted nails, munched on snacks, and watched spoiled brats on My Super Sweet 16. Then, I went to Target to get some Dryel and a bleach pen since I stained my jacket =[. But now it just left a yellow stain.....sucks.

Some very good quotes from this weekend:
"When I'm done with her, I call dibbs on her shoes!"
"I'll make her kiss the ground you fucking walk on!"
"Can we have more meat?"
"Tufo."
"Don't worry fool, I'll back your back up.......??"
"How much is a side of toast?"
*TJ has his palms up while yelling at a guy*
"Fool, you don't look hard when you do that!"
"I forget how it feels to be full..."

Oh yeah, my best friend and I attended the Jimmy Kimmel Show Wednesday night. We got FRONT ROW SEATS! It was just so MUCH fun. Like all the excitement in the room. To add to that, they were promoting something that had to with mustaches so they gave the audience one to wear for the commercial. And LUCKILY, Steph and I were zoomed in for a half a second! Woo, there goes my half second of fame! Watching all the behind the scenes stuff made me even more excited for my major. Entertainment is my main interest. I really want to be a producer or something like that. I'm gonna have a 6 figure salary and I'm going to work hard for every penny. I really can't wait! Woo!

Only God knows why

I just found out that my grandma is on life support and if they take her off of it most likely she won't make it. And my uncle's cancer has come back. This is just so overwhelming for me. I've had to deal with two of my relatives dying from cancer and there's four other relatives battling it right this second. It's so hard to understand why these good hearted people, MY FAMILY, have to suffer from it. I don't understand why God has to take my loved ones away from me. I want to be selfish and have them here with me forever. And it's hard to understand that maybe it is their time. But what about everyone else? What about everyone who enjoyed their time when they were here. We're not done with them yet. I just want them here with me and my family forever. I don't want to believe that they're up in heaven watching over us. I don't want to believe that's they're gone. But I have to and I've never taken this is so hard. It's so hard to be strong right now. I don't want my family to feel anymore mourning, we've been through so much already.


This is so hard for me. Grandma, I miss you so much. It hurts me to try to remember the last time I saw you because it's been so long. Please stay strong. I love you so much.

Misconception

I guess I've made a name out of myself for being the party girl. And I don't mind it but then I do. I am made out of fun yet intelligence too and add some independence to that. People still tell me I'm MIA still! And here's the answer.....I AM AT HOME. I really value my alone time. And plus, y'all are busy with your boos!

I was reading through old posts on my LJ (I always do) and I just realized that I'm Miss Independent when I'm in a relationship. I don't let the boy pay for me (at least I try to), I do shit on my own. I don't like being babied (yet it's cute but I don't crave for it). I do my own work, I don't need help. But when I'm single it's like I can't live without having a special comeone. My skies are grey when I'm single. I'm weird. Life just isn't fair and I'm so hungry right now. Deng, I've been officially single for 8 months. That's the longest in a couple years. I need to work on my independence from relationships. I don't need em, right? RIGHT!

I was doing hw and I was wondering who are the upcoming performers on the Jimmy Kimmel show. I saw Leona Lewis was going to be a special guest tomorrow and I signed up to get tickets...and then I get it! I'm seriously too lucky to get all these tickets! I love live shows. I love live music. I was really lucky to attend a lot of concerts this year. I still wanna go to Cali Christmas. COME ONE YEEZY PEOPLE!

Fiesta de Melissa!!!

So last night was Melissa's bday bash and of course we drowned ourselves in alcohol. Too drunk if you ask me. A few of my friends were able to make it to add to the fun. I found myself downing beers, trying to pick a fight with a random white boy ("Bitch, I'll make you bite the curb!"), and trying to fit in a doghouse. But nonetheless, another night for the books fo sho. Let the pictures explain the fun that night.

(more on my Myspace)

















I woke up at 4 AM next to Melissa and started giggling 'cause I was still drunk hahha. I had the worse headache and I didn't go to sleep till 6. Then we both woke up and did what all girls do after a raging party..look at pictures and bag on each other for being so "dderrunk". I'm gonna lay off partying for a bit even though in October I barely touched alcohol.

I'm taking 5 classes next semester. I'm actually excited! Even though I complain about school..I love learning.

I can't believe this year is almost done! I've grown so much. EVERY month it's a different story. I kind of what consistency though. I'm ready to settle down.

What I could have been.

I'm watching Centerstage and everytime I watch it I get so mad. I want to take dance classes so bad but I'm a coward because I don't want to make a fool out of myself. My mom always tells me I have the feet to be a dancer but I lacked so much motivation when I was young that I quit so easily.

Biggest regret of my life. I want to dance so bad again. It was the only thing I was good at too =[.

Backburner

is on fire! I don't know where my head has been lately but I need a vacation.

I want to do nursing because it's the "easy" way out. I want to start my career already, but I know if I do that I'm only cheating my way out into a miserable life making money but not being happy at the same time. SIGH. I need to be an intern somewhere so I can start building up my resume. As a Business Entertainment major, I need experience rather than a masters. BLAH BLAH.

For Christmas, I really want the Dirt Devil Cone in pink. Call me weird, but I really want that. I'm really not kidding. I want a vacuum for Christmas. Buy me it...betch.

Tomorrow, I will try my best to finish my essay so I can boogie boogie in LA. Then Saturday is Melissa's bday dinner and kickback then Sunday I have my shoot. BLAH BLAH. Life is BLAH BLAH.

"PHI DELTA PHI REPRESENT!"

Last night was a good night! I partied with my lil brotha, ,and his homies and gosh damn it was fun! I pretty much finished my 40 oz and raised hell with my drunk butt. Everyone kept asking if Brian and I were together and we were like no! We just said we're like brother and sister and this girl was like, "Oh like a fraternity?" And me being a little punk decided to play along. We told her and everyone else at the party that we were part of "Phi Delta Phi" and we were like the founding fathers. You just had to be there! I played defense for beer pong and did my obniouxs, inappropriate hand motions =P. I never thought a tap on my head from a boy can be a potential factor for a fight? HAHA good times! I definitely want to party again with them boys again.

I don't have class 'till Wednesday. I feel like I don't do shit with my life and I'm not proud of it. At least I have exceptional grades for my classes but still. I'm always at home bumming or out doing gosh knows what. I was considering of taking classes during winter but what a downer would that be during vacation. I know the right responsible thing to do is take a class to make up for dropped class this semester, but I'll just take 5 classes second semester. I want to be busy believe it or not. I loved how last year I was always out and about. But I guess this is what college about...freedom!

Anyway, Cali Christmas is coming up and Kanye West is one of the performers. And if he's there, I'M THERE. I just don't know anyone who is willing to go with me! I'd sacrifice anything for a concert! Come on guys, it's YEEZY!

I hungout with Erika and Jose tonight! We played Little Big Planet and I was just AMUSED by how technology has advanced in the past years and that the fucking game was just legit. So tomorrow I will go buy it! Finally a new game!

WISH LIST

I was creeping on Myspace and saw this jacket on a girl's page. I automatically fell in love. For fucking sake it was calling out my name. I quickly ran to my car to get my wallet and wooped out that Master Card. I can't believe I purchased such an EXPENSIVE item but but but...I guess I had to get it =/. Oh well, I really mean it when I say I'll be MIA. No money to go out anymore..

Today I studied for pretty much 6 hours straight. I had to make up for the slacking I did in October. I'm gonna be MIA again because school is priority again. I got enough time to myself. Now it's time for school again!! Talk about downerrrrrrrr.

So after studying I decided to window shop on the internet! Here are some things I really want but will never get unless I marry a sugar papa.



If you haven't noticed, I love the whole letterman jacket look. I've always wanted one but I was not athletic in high school so it was always out of my hands. So the jacket I bought is the closest thing I can get to a letterman jacket! I miss my old best friend. I miss just being stupid with him and him updating me on the latest fashion trends on the runway. I'm still considering of majoring in fashion but I so hesitant 'cause my heart and soul isn't into it. SURPRISINGLY, my FILIPINO family supports me if I do. They automatically think I'm majoring in it. It's just good to know that they're supportive on that.

I have a beach photoshoot Saturday morning. FML. I am not in bikini shape right now! Hello AA one piece!

Devil's child!

Last night I decided to be a wild child and I got my belly pierced. One of the most random things I've done in a while. I was so against it before I thought it was skanky but why not! I got nothing to lose besides my "self-respect and dignity!" I'm kindda bored with life lately and I think that's why I've been doing a lot of impulsive actions. Like a PS3 and a new piercing? Wth is next? A new tatt. I'll probably retouch mine soon anyway. I'm down for that intolerable, sharp, stinging pain again.......not!

My mama came back home today! Getting to LAX was a mission. It was funny 'cause my mom called us out with a "SHHT!". I was about to tell my sister that we are definitely in the international terminal because filipinos do that and right when I turned my mama was there! She bursted out into tears when she saw us and it was heart warming to see that. She said there's no place like home (AMERICA). I've never really experienced a third world country but I can only imagine how different it is. I'm so grateful to live here. Anyway, my mom told us that my grandma isn't doing too well and it's to the extent that she's incapable of traveling. I just want her to be happy and in this situation the only thing that would bring happiness in her life are her grandchildren. She's my angel on earth. I want to visit her so badly, but I just can't =[.

This past weekend has been just wonderful! I spent Halloween with Justin at the Jimmy Kimmel Show which N.E.R.D performed at! We got stuck in the back but it wasn't too packed so we still got to see the very sexy hot damn Pharrell Williams! They never disappoinment me and if they're ever in town, I'm always down to spend money to see them live. I really enjoy live music. If I was a balling girl, all my money would be spent on shows and fine dining.

Here are some pictures...


Haha I look so serious in that picture =/! Btw, I've always wanted to dress up in lingerie so why not on Halloween! The only night where it's accepted to look like one bahah. The next person to see me in lingerie though is my future husband at our honeymoon! My "knickers" kept on falling off so everyone saw my butt that night. I ALWAYS have a wardrope malfunction. Prone to embarassing moments! Oh yeah, I guess that night I was a spectacular liar and I fooled someone into thinking I was Puerto Rican. Don't ask me how 'cause I don't even know! I was cracking up forever and day though.

Whhhhhatttt?

I'm considering of joining a sorority. I know what a shocker? I've always been against it because I don't think people need to be tested to be put into a sisterhood or brotherhood. But that's how they do it! Ever since that frat tried recruit me, I was kindda interested. I said nothing about it but in the back of my head I was thinking what if? I mean I really do want to meet new people and I think it's a good opportunity. We'll see. I have a month or so to think about pledging. I just don't want to lose the social life I have already! I just don't want it to be sorority life 24/7. I've got family and friends already. We'll see, we'll see! It seems a whole lot of fun though! PLUS, those sweaters look fucking fresh too! I've always wanted one just for play.

It's already November!!! Soon as you know it it's gonna be summer again!! WEEEEEE!!

I've been enjoying this past week btw <3.

Red, yellow, yellow, blue, pedal!

So last night I decided to spend the last dollars of my debut money on a PS3 and Rock Band (I only purchased the drum set though). It came out to be a whopping.."FUCK MY MOM IS GONNA KILL ME" dollars. Why did I want to purchase such an expensive item? Fuck, I don't know. I love Rock Band and plus the consule includes Blue Ray and it has WiFi (I just keep telling myself the perks to make sure my money didn't go to waste. So after playing for a good 3 hours I have mastered the easy level and I am transitioning in medium. My goal is to beat the hard level by the end of the year. I'm taking this too seriously.


My mama don't love me 'cause she hasn't called me since she left for the PI. Not going to lie but I hope she showers me with souvenirs......FOOD. I want pastillas and Chocnut and new packs of So-ens.

These days have been really good btw!

If know me then you should know how much I am in love with the Disney movie, High School Musical. (It is my guilty pleasure). Last night I, along with girls of the Tripod, went to the midnight showing. Throughout the movie I couldn't help myself but say "awwwwww". I don't understand how two people can have that much chemistry. That shit isn't real in life! And that's what makes it so entertaining. Nonetheless, if you enjoyed the last two movies then you will love this one. Also, I didn't know it was possible for a boy to be so gosh deng good looking!!!!

Anywho, I'm in English class and I feel like I am freezing my ass off. This class is a joke. They placed me in English 100 so I expect to be taught in that level but no...we're learning how to fucking WRITE an essay. I already know this. Give me a challenge, fuuhhhhhhh!

I haven't cruised around in a longgggggg time. I need to find friends who would want to cruise around and not just go 63 mph down a hill.

I have an open pad for the next 2-3 weeks! Party?????????????????????

"Dude, you guys I have leprosy!"

Saturday night was my cousin's bday party and we drank zee night away! It was good seeing the family again. My asian glow was in full effect and it resembled "leprosy". Also, it's official..I suck at scherades.

My grandpa left today to go back to his hunny (my grandma) in the PI. I'll miss him. I'll miss him bugging me to eat even though I just did. I'll miss hearing his humming and whistling throughout the house. I wish they were both here. My mom also left too...so open pad? Party? We'll see, we'll see.

Life has been chill. Just focusing on me for once...s'all good!!!

TWO YEARS AGO..

...I haven't fucking changed when it comes to relationships. I mean I have matured but my mentality has not changed (if that makes any sense). I'm just really shocked looking back at that entry because I was 16 when I wrote it. I was at such a young age but I really knew what I wanted and I still do. My pickiness is what hasn't changed. I guess I've gotten a little lenient because I've dated a few guys. My Livejournal really holds a lot of shit that has happened in my life. Oh boy them Wonder Years (as I call it) were so bittersweet. It holds everything since sophmore year and gross...my scenster years! I'm glad I've been blogging because I have so much to look back to now.

ANYWHO, I've been MIA and I don't mind it at all. But I've been feeling all cutsey lately =]. Tehehehehe.

I can't wait till Kanye's new CD hits the stores. I'm fucking stoked if you ask me! I'm down to drop some Benjamins on his next tour again. It was worth every penny.

I'm a Ghostbuster for Halloween. The only thing is I have nothing planned for that night though =[!!!