Only God knows why

I just found out that my grandma is on life support and if they take her off of it most likely she won't make it. And my uncle's cancer has come back. This is just so overwhelming for me. I've had to deal with two of my relatives dying from cancer and there's four other relatives battling it right this second. It's so hard to understand why these good hearted people, MY FAMILY, have to suffer from it. I don't understand why God has to take my loved ones away from me. I want to be selfish and have them here with me forever. And it's hard to understand that maybe it is their time. But what about everyone else? What about everyone who enjoyed their time when they were here. We're not done with them yet. I just want them here with me and my family forever. I don't want to believe that they're up in heaven watching over us. I don't want to believe that's they're gone. But I have to and I've never taken this is so hard. It's so hard to be strong right now. I don't want my family to feel anymore mourning, we've been through so much already.


This is so hard for me. Grandma, I miss you so much. It hurts me to try to remember the last time I saw you because it's been so long. Please stay strong. I love you so much.