Goodbye 08! You did me good.

As the new year is fast approaching, I thought I would briefly summarize how wonderful 2008 has been, since it's truly the best year of my life by far.

I started off the year with a bang. I was in my first serious relationship and I turned 18. I was constantly busy and on the go with planning my debut, debut practices, dance captain for Red and Gold, and maintaining good grades at school. Life was just completely blissful! I had nothing to complain about. I had a wonderful boyfriend, my family was being functional for once, I was passing my classes with semi-flying colors. Then Cupid decided to be an ass and my 8 month relationship ended unexpectedly. I can say that this year was the year I experienced "love". I wasn't in love but I was falling in love. Unlike other years where my main problems in life was family..this year it was the evil curse of a heartbreak that every teenage girl dreads but has to face one day (or in my case a good couple months). As I thought my world was going to end because my love life did, I found my two best friends.

By the end of June, I graduated high school and I was that teenage girl with the only things in her mind for the summer was to...sleep in and party till dusk. Well, I certainly did just that. Summer was such yet another learning experience. I had my share of good times and drama. I even experienced with E two times. I'm not proud but it's yet another learning experience and one that I certainly will not do again.

This year was also my first year of college. My sister told me that in college it's where your life will totally change. And it seemed so cliche so I didn't really believe till it happened to me. Just a few months ago I was living such a different life. I was so confused with my "identity". I was uncomfortable with my surroundings and no, school had nothing to do it. College, the school aspect of it, was actually unsurprisingly likable. I'm the type of student who doesn't care too much of group work and I'm used to independent work, so college was easy for me. It was what happened outside of school that really affected me. Even after a summer of close bonding with my best friends, I felt myself drift away from them. It's not that they were bad people, it's just that I felt I needed to grow apart from them to find myself. I started questioning why does it have to be so hard just to feel comfortable with a group of friends. Why does my social life have to be so hard like as if I had to do some fucking miracles just to find a genuine people?!! (All my life, I was never really part of a certain clique. It was just me and one or two best friends..and if I wasn't with them I was with my current bf.) Well, I told myself life ain't fair! So just fucking suck it up. And I did. Things changed drastically just a couple weeks ago and I finally got what I deserved...true friends. It just feels so good to know that I have a set group of friends now. And it's not that it's a "group", it's 'cause I know each of them care for me just as much as I care for them. I'm SO grateful to have them in my life.

So in all this year I learned: even though I gave my 1oo-and-fucking-10% in a relationship and it doesn't last, it's doesn't mean I did something wrong..it just wasn't meant to be. Things DON'T come easy to me and not going to lie, I'm an open-minded thinker. I just don't think of how I feel, I think about how the others feel too. If I'm at fault, I'll step up and apologize! Anyway, as the saying goes, "things happen for a reason" and it's true! I guess this is where I get all my "optimism" from. Everything really does happen for a reason and sooner or later you'll realize why. It's just with me the period between of when something happens to the time I'll realize why, is when I get super impatient. I start to blame myself of why all this shit is happening to me even though I'm being completely stupid. I just need to learn patience. I've learn to accept that things don't come easy with me even when I deserve the best, to be bluntly honest. Family, friends, relationships. All of that has been so hard to maintain. I do get jealous seeing other people have it easy with family, friends, and relationships. Because I've never cheated, always been caring, not jealous, not possessive, respectful, all that jazz. I just didn't understand it but now I've come to accept that the time isn't now. And I'll have to be patient even when it hurts so bad. But at least I've found my true friends!!

Reading this whole blog makes me excited for what 2009 has to offer me! Also, this isn't even everything that has happened to me. Some things that happened to me this year, I can't explain through words =].