NIGHTMARES ooOoOOOo

As always, once I have a nightmare it's expected for another week I'll have sleepless nights from it. This time it was just bizarre and eerie. In my dream, I saw two HUGE roaches crawling in my hallway. I quickly stand up on my bed stand and spray them. But the weird part was that I can see my reflection even though there was no mirror in front of me. Well, while I was spraying them I noticed that two roaches were crawling on me! I was freaking out and hysterically crying. I ran to my mom about the problem and then my whole family got together for a ritual to terminate all of them. The ritual was the odd part though because for the ritual they had to spray the outlining of roaches on the wall and they had to make me hold a windchime full of roaches to complete it. It was so weird and DISGUSTING! Then next thing I know I'm at school but it took place in the 70s. The people in it were funny though. One of them had a fro and the other had a jerri curl! HAAHAAH.

I woke up and I searched for an interpretation of it. It said I needed some fucking spiritual cleansing! HAHAHAHA or I need to confront something with someone. But as of right now, life is fucking splendid! No drama, just school and keeping up with a social life that doesn't include drugs. Yes, alcohol but I see no reason why I need to cleanse myself from that since I drink responsibly. Maybe, I need to go to church? I think that's it. I really want to. I miss church...no lie.

As of this week, I am a woman of healthy choices. NEW DIET pretty much. It's not 'cause I think "I'm fat" but what do I gotta lose when I eat healthy? It's a wise decision but I just need to stop smoking. I love fruits. I feel healthier already!!!

Today I asked my dad if he was bringing Ate Feley with him to the my cousin's wedding. And he responded with a "I have to tell you something." And I knew something was wrong. They broke up a long time ago but he never wanted to tell us because he didn't want us to lose touch with her. She is my second mom. I receive that comfort and love that I honestly never really felt in my life. I know that their break up won't affect us as much but it explains why this summer we didn't have those Sunday breakfasts we usually have. I'm worried for my dad as well because I want him to be happy. He kept on repeating that they're still friends and I'm glad to see that he still has spirit. But I've never seen my dad that happy in my life and the only thing I really want in my life is to see my family happy. I'll also miss her. In some we she compensated what I didn't have in my life till she came in and that's why she's so special to me. I hope things won't change. On a slighter note, I think that conversation bonded my dad and me. I think he finally sees me as a young adult and we can have mature conversations. It feels good.


Anyboob, I love this show...I'm gonna buy the DVD. It inspires me to have a big family. My dream...to have a family along with my loyal, loving hubby!! Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

This was summer. It was my turn to push the cart and my sister pops a bag of toilet paper in it. And then, "Steph, where are you??" ha-ha-ha

And here's me at one of my worse times. I always told my current lover at the time to NEVER EVER surprise me at school 'cause it ain't worth it =]. I miss uniform. Looking like a bum was fun. Bad hygiene was the way to be at RHS...no one understands that unless they graduated from it.