Back to life, back to reality!

I wanna go to a club that plays 90s hip hop. I heard there's one in Riverside. I'm down. It's about time to get jiggy to some good sound. I'm sad that tomorrow I have to get back to reality because this weekend was so much fun. Three straight nights of drinking and good memories!

And lets just say I was not myself last night!


This was from this summer!

By far, this year has offered me so many learning experiences and most of them unpleasant, but I learned anyway. Next year, I just hope for more equality. My problem is always too little or too much. Speaking generally of course..And I most definitely I hope I won't have to deal with "wrong timing" too.

Lets also add that I hope I don't have to go through shit again. I'm kind of tired going through shit to get to the top. Just give it to me already.

Slowly but surely

my life is getting better.

I don't come from that big group of friends. I only hangout with close friends because it's hard to find genuine people today. Sometimes I do get lonely because when they're busy, I have nothing to do. But lately I've been hanging out with Brian and his friends and it feels so nice to know that I finally have my set of close friends who also know each other. And I bonded with one of them last night and he was like if you're part of the group, you'll always be part of the group. And he reassured me that no matter what, they'll always be there for me. And out of my 18 years of living I've never heard that from a guy friend. I was always that "homegirl" of the group but only because I was a girlfriend of someone. And once those relationships ended...so did my social life. (Another story of how I revolve my life around my current relaltionship, UGH.) It's different now though because none of them were a former lover so it eliminates the awkward feeling if they were one. It's just finally I feel like I'm set with a group of friends. I'm so grateful for that. And they're boys too so I wouldn't have to worry about drama. Thank the Lord! But I'll always have my two best friends. No one can ever replace them.

Yesterday was super busy! Thursday night we went to a homie's house and played Rock Band and drank a little. Then we headed to my house to eat leftovers and ended up knocking out. We went to the Attic. REWIND, actually my sister and I hit up Citadel at 11PM. We got a lot of AA stuff and everything was 15% off! As I was saying, we went to the Attic but we didn't have to wait in line suckahs! It was buy 1, get 1 free! Since I am cursed with small feet I couldn't scoop on any shoes =[. But I came out with two Cheap Monday jeans, two Hellz Bellz tees, and some random shirt for only $123! And at AA I got a hoodie, crew neck sweater, and two jerseys for only $60 bucks! All that for under 2 bills. What a deal!!!! I am definitely celebrating Black Friday every year. (It was my first time this year).

Well, later that night I went to Careese's birthday dinner. And all I gotta say is SMALL WORLD. I knew more people there than I thought. We went to some kickback after and got our drank on. And you know just the typical fun, good times stuff went down!

Then tonight I have a party and tomorrow I have a lunch buffet at Orange Hill then another bday dinner! Woo this weekend has been SO good and it's only Saturday!

Muchas Gracias!

I am very thankful for the following (in a nutshell):
My loving family: even though a majority of the time we're not on the greatest terms, we have each others unbreakable love that keeps us together.
My sister: we don't live together anymore but we still manage to keep in touch. She's really considered one of my heroes because without her I really don't know how I would be here.
Stephanie Arroyave: NO ONE understands me the way she does and I really appreciate that. There's no one else who I can be vulnerable with yet dorky. She's my winggirl. I love her so much. She's still going to be the godmother of my children! Woo for being friends. Try beating 13 years!
Melissa Chacha: We hated each other guts and she used Myspace to harass me but who would have ever known that we'd end up being best friends! I'm glad that we got SO close in the past couple months because we have nothing but love for each other!
For having not just one but two best friends!
The new friends I made this year.
Education.
House.
Car.
PS3.
Fake tempurpedic bed and plasma in my room.

There's A LOT more but those are the few that stuck out. But most of all I am thankful for the wisdom and strength God has blessed with me.

Today, I pretty much just chilled with Brian and did a bunch of nothing at his house till Giann came over. We went to a driving range and it was just another reminder of how much I suck at golf. Then we watched Transporters 3. I was falling asleep!! I give it one thumb up.

I've never celebrated Black Friday and I'm still figuring out what to do. Maybe The Attic? Or Citadel Outlet for AA? Or just stay at home and save money.

"Always want what you can't have!"

Cat fights and male strippers

Friday: I went to some club. It was the normal fun night. A lot of dancing but this time I got to see male strippers. I really don't enjoy seeing men bounce around in thongs. And I think I'm traumatized for life. I never want to see that kind of action again.



Saturday: The best the day of the weekend! I chilled with Brian and his homies. We went to downtown LB so they can pick up some stuff for their bikes. I ended up buying new shoes because FOR ONCE they had my size. Shocker ay! They're pretty too. Then we headed back to Justin's house and I just chilled and watch them do their thing with their rides. Brian was nice enough to teach me how to carve on my board though! I miss skating. I miss it so much because I rarely do it =[. Anywho, we were starving so we headed to Mr. Lees so we can indulge in some bomb Korean BBQ. I haven't laughed that hard in so long! GOOOOOOD times there. We were so full after eating over 10 plates. They got stingy with us and started giving us less meat! Hello, it's all you can eat! DUH! After, we headed to Chino Hills for some party. And long story short, I almost decked some girl because she was talking crap about my very very close friend. I've never gotten so belligerent in my life! But it was good times and I would do it again....syke. I'll only throw a punch for a good homie. None of that "just to start drama" crap. Lover not a fighter! Definitely a night to add in the books.



Today: Studied with my sister at Panera. After, I went to Melissa's house and we just caught up since we haven't seen each other in a while. Painted nails, munched on snacks, and watched spoiled brats on My Super Sweet 16. Then, I went to Target to get some Dryel and a bleach pen since I stained my jacket =[. But now it just left a yellow stain.....sucks.

Some very good quotes from this weekend:
"When I'm done with her, I call dibbs on her shoes!"
"I'll make her kiss the ground you fucking walk on!"
"Can we have more meat?"
"Tufo."
"Don't worry fool, I'll back your back up.......??"
"How much is a side of toast?"
*TJ has his palms up while yelling at a guy*
"Fool, you don't look hard when you do that!"
"I forget how it feels to be full..."

Oh yeah, my best friend and I attended the Jimmy Kimmel Show Wednesday night. We got FRONT ROW SEATS! It was just so MUCH fun. Like all the excitement in the room. To add to that, they were promoting something that had to with mustaches so they gave the audience one to wear for the commercial. And LUCKILY, Steph and I were zoomed in for a half a second! Woo, there goes my half second of fame! Watching all the behind the scenes stuff made me even more excited for my major. Entertainment is my main interest. I really want to be a producer or something like that. I'm gonna have a 6 figure salary and I'm going to work hard for every penny. I really can't wait! Woo!

Only God knows why

I just found out that my grandma is on life support and if they take her off of it most likely she won't make it. And my uncle's cancer has come back. This is just so overwhelming for me. I've had to deal with two of my relatives dying from cancer and there's four other relatives battling it right this second. It's so hard to understand why these good hearted people, MY FAMILY, have to suffer from it. I don't understand why God has to take my loved ones away from me. I want to be selfish and have them here with me forever. And it's hard to understand that maybe it is their time. But what about everyone else? What about everyone who enjoyed their time when they were here. We're not done with them yet. I just want them here with me and my family forever. I don't want to believe that they're up in heaven watching over us. I don't want to believe that's they're gone. But I have to and I've never taken this is so hard. It's so hard to be strong right now. I don't want my family to feel anymore mourning, we've been through so much already.


This is so hard for me. Grandma, I miss you so much. It hurts me to try to remember the last time I saw you because it's been so long. Please stay strong. I love you so much.

Misconception

I guess I've made a name out of myself for being the party girl. And I don't mind it but then I do. I am made out of fun yet intelligence too and add some independence to that. People still tell me I'm MIA still! And here's the answer.....I AM AT HOME. I really value my alone time. And plus, y'all are busy with your boos!

I was reading through old posts on my LJ (I always do) and I just realized that I'm Miss Independent when I'm in a relationship. I don't let the boy pay for me (at least I try to), I do shit on my own. I don't like being babied (yet it's cute but I don't crave for it). I do my own work, I don't need help. But when I'm single it's like I can't live without having a special comeone. My skies are grey when I'm single. I'm weird. Life just isn't fair and I'm so hungry right now. Deng, I've been officially single for 8 months. That's the longest in a couple years. I need to work on my independence from relationships. I don't need em, right? RIGHT!

I was doing hw and I was wondering who are the upcoming performers on the Jimmy Kimmel show. I saw Leona Lewis was going to be a special guest tomorrow and I signed up to get tickets...and then I get it! I'm seriously too lucky to get all these tickets! I love live shows. I love live music. I was really lucky to attend a lot of concerts this year. I still wanna go to Cali Christmas. COME ONE YEEZY PEOPLE!

Fiesta de Melissa!!!

So last night was Melissa's bday bash and of course we drowned ourselves in alcohol. Too drunk if you ask me. A few of my friends were able to make it to add to the fun. I found myself downing beers, trying to pick a fight with a random white boy ("Bitch, I'll make you bite the curb!"), and trying to fit in a doghouse. But nonetheless, another night for the books fo sho. Let the pictures explain the fun that night.

(more on my Myspace)

















I woke up at 4 AM next to Melissa and started giggling 'cause I was still drunk hahha. I had the worse headache and I didn't go to sleep till 6. Then we both woke up and did what all girls do after a raging party..look at pictures and bag on each other for being so "dderrunk". I'm gonna lay off partying for a bit even though in October I barely touched alcohol.

I'm taking 5 classes next semester. I'm actually excited! Even though I complain about school..I love learning.

I can't believe this year is almost done! I've grown so much. EVERY month it's a different story. I kind of what consistency though. I'm ready to settle down.

What I could have been.

I'm watching Centerstage and everytime I watch it I get so mad. I want to take dance classes so bad but I'm a coward because I don't want to make a fool out of myself. My mom always tells me I have the feet to be a dancer but I lacked so much motivation when I was young that I quit so easily.

Biggest regret of my life. I want to dance so bad again. It was the only thing I was good at too =[.

Backburner

is on fire! I don't know where my head has been lately but I need a vacation.

I want to do nursing because it's the "easy" way out. I want to start my career already, but I know if I do that I'm only cheating my way out into a miserable life making money but not being happy at the same time. SIGH. I need to be an intern somewhere so I can start building up my resume. As a Business Entertainment major, I need experience rather than a masters. BLAH BLAH.

For Christmas, I really want the Dirt Devil Cone in pink. Call me weird, but I really want that. I'm really not kidding. I want a vacuum for Christmas. Buy me it...betch.

Tomorrow, I will try my best to finish my essay so I can boogie boogie in LA. Then Saturday is Melissa's bday dinner and kickback then Sunday I have my shoot. BLAH BLAH. Life is BLAH BLAH.

"PHI DELTA PHI REPRESENT!"

Last night was a good night! I partied with my lil brotha, ,and his homies and gosh damn it was fun! I pretty much finished my 40 oz and raised hell with my drunk butt. Everyone kept asking if Brian and I were together and we were like no! We just said we're like brother and sister and this girl was like, "Oh like a fraternity?" And me being a little punk decided to play along. We told her and everyone else at the party that we were part of "Phi Delta Phi" and we were like the founding fathers. You just had to be there! I played defense for beer pong and did my obniouxs, inappropriate hand motions =P. I never thought a tap on my head from a boy can be a potential factor for a fight? HAHA good times! I definitely want to party again with them boys again.

I don't have class 'till Wednesday. I feel like I don't do shit with my life and I'm not proud of it. At least I have exceptional grades for my classes but still. I'm always at home bumming or out doing gosh knows what. I was considering of taking classes during winter but what a downer would that be during vacation. I know the right responsible thing to do is take a class to make up for dropped class this semester, but I'll just take 5 classes second semester. I want to be busy believe it or not. I loved how last year I was always out and about. But I guess this is what college about...freedom!

Anyway, Cali Christmas is coming up and Kanye West is one of the performers. And if he's there, I'M THERE. I just don't know anyone who is willing to go with me! I'd sacrifice anything for a concert! Come on guys, it's YEEZY!

I hungout with Erika and Jose tonight! We played Little Big Planet and I was just AMUSED by how technology has advanced in the past years and that the fucking game was just legit. So tomorrow I will go buy it! Finally a new game!

WISH LIST

I was creeping on Myspace and saw this jacket on a girl's page. I automatically fell in love. For fucking sake it was calling out my name. I quickly ran to my car to get my wallet and wooped out that Master Card. I can't believe I purchased such an EXPENSIVE item but but but...I guess I had to get it =/. Oh well, I really mean it when I say I'll be MIA. No money to go out anymore..

Today I studied for pretty much 6 hours straight. I had to make up for the slacking I did in October. I'm gonna be MIA again because school is priority again. I got enough time to myself. Now it's time for school again!! Talk about downerrrrrrrr.

So after studying I decided to window shop on the internet! Here are some things I really want but will never get unless I marry a sugar papa.



If you haven't noticed, I love the whole letterman jacket look. I've always wanted one but I was not athletic in high school so it was always out of my hands. So the jacket I bought is the closest thing I can get to a letterman jacket! I miss my old best friend. I miss just being stupid with him and him updating me on the latest fashion trends on the runway. I'm still considering of majoring in fashion but I so hesitant 'cause my heart and soul isn't into it. SURPRISINGLY, my FILIPINO family supports me if I do. They automatically think I'm majoring in it. It's just good to know that they're supportive on that.

I have a beach photoshoot Saturday morning. FML. I am not in bikini shape right now! Hello AA one piece!

Devil's child!

Last night I decided to be a wild child and I got my belly pierced. One of the most random things I've done in a while. I was so against it before I thought it was skanky but why not! I got nothing to lose besides my "self-respect and dignity!" I'm kindda bored with life lately and I think that's why I've been doing a lot of impulsive actions. Like a PS3 and a new piercing? Wth is next? A new tatt. I'll probably retouch mine soon anyway. I'm down for that intolerable, sharp, stinging pain again.......not!

My mama came back home today! Getting to LAX was a mission. It was funny 'cause my mom called us out with a "SHHT!". I was about to tell my sister that we are definitely in the international terminal because filipinos do that and right when I turned my mama was there! She bursted out into tears when she saw us and it was heart warming to see that. She said there's no place like home (AMERICA). I've never really experienced a third world country but I can only imagine how different it is. I'm so grateful to live here. Anyway, my mom told us that my grandma isn't doing too well and it's to the extent that she's incapable of traveling. I just want her to be happy and in this situation the only thing that would bring happiness in her life are her grandchildren. She's my angel on earth. I want to visit her so badly, but I just can't =[.

This past weekend has been just wonderful! I spent Halloween with Justin at the Jimmy Kimmel Show which N.E.R.D performed at! We got stuck in the back but it wasn't too packed so we still got to see the very sexy hot damn Pharrell Williams! They never disappoinment me and if they're ever in town, I'm always down to spend money to see them live. I really enjoy live music. If I was a balling girl, all my money would be spent on shows and fine dining.

Here are some pictures...


Haha I look so serious in that picture =/! Btw, I've always wanted to dress up in lingerie so why not on Halloween! The only night where it's accepted to look like one bahah. The next person to see me in lingerie though is my future husband at our honeymoon! My "knickers" kept on falling off so everyone saw my butt that night. I ALWAYS have a wardrope malfunction. Prone to embarassing moments! Oh yeah, I guess that night I was a spectacular liar and I fooled someone into thinking I was Puerto Rican. Don't ask me how 'cause I don't even know! I was cracking up forever and day though.

Whhhhhatttt?

I'm considering of joining a sorority. I know what a shocker? I've always been against it because I don't think people need to be tested to be put into a sisterhood or brotherhood. But that's how they do it! Ever since that frat tried recruit me, I was kindda interested. I said nothing about it but in the back of my head I was thinking what if? I mean I really do want to meet new people and I think it's a good opportunity. We'll see. I have a month or so to think about pledging. I just don't want to lose the social life I have already! I just don't want it to be sorority life 24/7. I've got family and friends already. We'll see, we'll see! It seems a whole lot of fun though! PLUS, those sweaters look fucking fresh too! I've always wanted one just for play.

It's already November!!! Soon as you know it it's gonna be summer again!! WEEEEEE!!

I've been enjoying this past week btw <3.