Ba hum bug

I thought it was weird when people would write messages to people without using their names but numbers....but I guess I want to do it now. Mainly, 'cause I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO.

1. I'm so glad you're part of my life. You're my best friend and I don't think you really know it. Last night when I was mad and I stepped outside of the group, you followed me and checked to see if I was okay. Despite how angry I was, that didn't stop you from being a true friend. Your kind words really make a difference. No friend has ever been there for me like that.
2. SHIT, you know me too well. You know when I call you over it's 'cause I'm going to tell you who I am jockin on LOL. I like how we catch people's awkward moments and we laugh about it..hysterically.
3. Gosh, your ego is up in the fucking heavens. Everyone was wrong about you.
4. I don't like it when I'm with you. I feel so pressured in many ways. Whatever though...
5. I sometimes think about you and I end up missing you. But I'm too scared to say anything. I just don't want any awkward tension...and any of us to get hurt.
6. I hope you're happy now..even though it's said in a bitter tone.
7. I've lost faith in you because you keep doing the same mistakes over again.
8. I feel bad for people like you because you don't know what's infront of you since you're just so busy thinking about yourself.
9. Someone needs to pull that stick out of your ass.
10. I love you two together.

At least once..

I would like to see my parents happy like this....


Not that kind of happiness because they are back together (like that would ever happen) but just happy enough to communicate with each other without hostility. Anyway, they were a cute couple and had sick style!














GOODNESS. My mom was such a hottie!




<333 href="http://s91.photobucket.com/albums/k300/littlest3phy/babieesss/?action=view&current=babb0003_1.jpg" target="_blank">

GOSH

I have goals I plan to achieve and most of them are pretty realistic too. But fuck, once I fail..I feel so discouraged.

The (not so) big one nine!

Last weekend was my birthday weekend!! It pretty much consisted of my family and friends dinner at BJS. Party of 40! Woo! Then, a party at my friend's friend's house. Just good times like the usual. Then my actual birthday I just chilled with my friends since it was on a Monday. I really couldn't ask for anything more since I got everything I wanted, not materialistic wise.

I guess I'm used to not expecting much from people. It's pathetic how most of the time I'm true though. Whatever, I'm slowly growing over it. Can't wait till I completely do so I won't fucking get hurt anymore.

I can't believe February is just in two more days. Life does go by fast when you're having fun =]. But fuck Valentine's Day! All my friends are going to be busy. Ugh.

"When in doubt, bar it out!"

So today I basically just hungout with Brian. There was completely nothing to do. Every person we called was at home. So what was there to do? Go to the bar of course. They don't card so it was no hassle to get alcohol. We were just chilling with our beers and talking. I might move in with him and Giann this summer. Honestly, I wouldn't room with anyone else but them. It's really better than rooming with a bunch girls.....seriously. But the only things holding me back are 1) My parents don't have money to spend on rooming just like that. Therefore, I might have to pull out on some loans. And I've given this a lot of thought. I don't want to have to deal with paying loans when I get married and start my life. I don't want the start of my life with stress with debts. I'm only thinking about this so my future later on can be a breeze. Economy is bad as it is and it might get worse through the years.BUT possibly moving out would be the wise choice. Moving out would mean less stress to handle therefore succeeding more with my schooling. It goes both ways. Deal with debts while suceeding more in school or graduating with average grades without no debts. I DON'T KNOW. 2) I don't want to leave my mom alone. I don't want to get into too much detail about it, but I'm just so worried who is going to take care of her when I'm gone. I know that MYSELF is priority but family comes first and foremost, even before me.

Lately, when I'm at home I think a lot about where I am in life. I'm sure most of you do too since there's really nothing to better to think about than yourself, right? But anyway, I was thinking about how I've never been happier in life. I finally found my group of friends who I don't have to worry about impressing or having non-sense drama with. Like what Brian said, "When you're with us, there's nothing to worry about." I finally feel comfortable and happy with a group of best friends. I've gone through so much with friends and it's come to this. Sure, I had to deal with a lot of emotional stress but it was all worth it. Cheesey as it sounds but it's really the plain truth. And I'm also proud to say that I'm happy..without a man. Life is good. Life is at it's best. I thank God for blessing me with such wonderful friends and a loving family.

SO happy

We finally started dancing in my hip hop class at school. And even though it's just a small class, nothing too extravagant, it makes me so happy. Besides being with family and friends, nothing can make me happier than dancing.

Fuck, if only I kept up with it. That's the ONE thing I regret in my life..

Small, small world.

I got bored and decided to hook up my old computer together. The first thing I did was look at old pictures. And it was just really weird seeing my ex-boyfriends be connected to each other somehow! I really hope that the next boy I'm involved knows no one who I know. It's rather quiet....awkward when my ex knows my ex. Or I should just stop dating 909/626 boys. It's not like any of them lasted anyway................................(no intention to make them look bad, it's just that none of them lasted).

Also, looking through the pictures it reminded me of how much of a "lost" teenager I was. I was so easily influenced with which ever group I was part of. I was just completely lost with myself. At least now I know "what's right and wrong" now! Gosh, I was such an idiot back then. I would usually party with college people (bc my friend at the time was in college), drink on the weekdays, come home on the wee hours of the morning. No wonder why my mom wanted me back in private school! I just grew up too fast but I calmed down a lot now. I've got my head on straight! I just can't believe I started drinking at the tender age of 16. I was a wild child and sure did show it with my blond hair, grey contacts, fake eyelashes, and high heeled boots. Don't know what I'm talking about! LOOK!

Haah it's out of order.

This makes me want to cut my hair again! BUT NO!!!!!!! NEVER AGAIN.

OH MY.

One drank isn't enough!